Before I tell you my story, let me introduce you to Molly. She is six years old, forever young, forever a child. And she has secrets.
Molly sat in Sunday school and listened to her teachers tell her about God. She sang, “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so…” with hands folded in her lap. She listened to her teachers tell her how God cares for and protects those whom He loves. How he saved Daniel in the lion’s den, David from Goliath, and the children of Israel from Pharaoh’s army. Molly listened and she never told them it was a lie. She never told them God did not love her. She never told them God abandoned her to a brother twelve years older than she.
She didn’t tell anyone. Her silence had been guaranteed by the memory of a new-born kitten whose legs and tail had been cut off, and whose eyes had been gouged out with a knife.
So Molly grew up with a heart divided. She carefully put away the truths no one wanted to hear. She buried them deep in her soul and never thought of them again with her conscious mind.
But her soul knew. And it built barriers against the lies she thought she had been told. God would not take care of her. No one would. Only she could care for herself. And she did. She became so adept at playing Church that she fooled even herself. She learned all the right answers and all the proper responses. She was always busy. In school she was the girl who could do anything. Art, music, literature, you name it; she did it, and very well. When she began dating, she did that very well, too; all proper and Christian.
SUPER CHRISTIAN. That was the tag that hung from Molly’s heart. She was so busy being busy she didn’t have time to examine the strangely silent soul. No time to wonder why “God is Love” rang false or why she could not respond in her heart to the beautiful words she sang and spoke.
Oh, there were times when the emptiness threatened to swallow her up. Sometimes she would break down, become depressed, but she did not know why. Only that she felt empty and alone and ugly. Only that she must do more and stay busy building the person God wanted Molly to be. But there came a time when the questions would not be silent; when answers rumbled in the distance like thunder before a storm. The real Molly was speaking!
WITH HEART DIVIDED can be purchased on amazon.com in either soft cover or Kindle.